by PMob
"Aw man, look at the time! I was suppose to been home hours ago! I know my girlfriend is going kill me when I walk in the house!" This is a conversation that men have when they realized they have been out way past the time that they were expected to be home. Hey, it happens whether your were out doing something you shouldn't be (Ala return of the mack,creeping) or you just got caught up with the fellas (gambling, drinking, guy talk). Everything is pretty much based on your unspoken rules between you and your partner. Only you and her know what is is acceptable and unacceptable as far as reasons to be out to 4 or 5 in the morning. Some house holds may deem 11pm to be a late arrival especially during the week. Whatever your case Im going to assume that the man was in the wrong, and here at my top strategies to make that walk into the house a easier transition...in no particular order.
The Truth
In my opinion this is the best strategy especially when in a relationship. It is not always the first choice by us men, but it is the most full proof plan to work. Why you ask? Women will respect the truth at the end of the day because it will guarantee that the issue wont blow up in your face later. Once a women doesn't believe nothing you say then you are kinda dead in the water when you actually are being truthful and she doesn't believe you! Plus if you even have to lie, your word is good. LOL.Now I'm not saying the truth will set you free or get you out of the doghouse, but lies ruin trust, and that's the most important thing in a relationship. So if you want to keep it honest, bro, i salute you just be ready to deal with the consequences which may mean an uncomfortable couple of nights sleep on the couch!!
now lets get to the fun!!!!!
Flat Tire
Now this strategy takes a lot of preparation to pull off, so pay attention to detail. You obviously don't want to tell the "real" reason your late so go with unexpected approach such as an accident. When telling any tale, evidence is your key to success, so you may want to look the part. Don't come in the house looking zest fully clean and claim you had to change a tire! You probably should rub your hands on the tire, or even better get the spare out of you trunk and wrestle with it! Yeah you are going to mess up your good cloths but you must have sacrifice in your tale to make it believable. Also take a run around the block to build up some perspiration and create an authentic look of exhaustion. Another important key to this is calling befor you get home, and if she doesnt answer make sure you leave a message so when you get home you dont have to explain as much, just show your proof! Make sure you call and not text though, communication whether truth or deceit is always important in a relationship because it shows you care!
Alcohol
Oweee! This is one that women like to use themselves (but that's another post) to get out of trouble. When in doubt put it on the goose and the henesey but there is a way to do it. You can say you past out, or you were too drunk to drive and tried to sleep it off. You also might want to spill a lil bit on your shirt or make yourself throw up, remember evidence is the key. Like I said theses are only go too choices if the truth is not an option. This one will defintly put you in the dog house and I would not recommend. If you know you had to be home why would you get too drunk, sound irresponsible, and it is..but depending on the situation of your relationship this one would be a hit or miss. I just would not go to this well to many times, its an easy way to fed your women up.
Went 2 Jail/ Pulled Over
The reliability of this one is really depending on what type of dude you are. The key to this strategy is selling the concern rather than the excuse. Its always a good idea to have a good wing man who can cover for you by simply sending a text to your lady even though it would drive her crazy! Whats up Keisha, this Johnny..Steve homeboy..I was just letting you know he was arrested but I dont know what for. I will call you when i find out more but don't worry"..perfect., Be careful this can blow up in your face instantly due to the police department keeping records of arrest. The idea of getting pulled over and harassed is such a realistic possibility, I would go to that before I would say I went to jail. Police officers often pull people and give them a warning but your story has to be legit. The "police had a road block looking for somebody who has the same description as me" works but you cant use it twice! Your acting skills are important as your lady is probably worried sick about you. Don't try to explain, just say that you don't want to talk bout it right now and gather your thoughts for the morning because your going to have to have your eggs lined up for this one. If your using to pulled over version, you want to act angry, even write down an officer's badge number and call a friend and complain about it. This strategy might have to involve more than one person so make sure all involved are down with the play, women do it all the time its called cover all your bases.
Blame Game
This is one that is not suggested for those that do not have the gift of gab. If your not quick on your feet I would recommend this one. You can just flat out put the blame on one of your homeboys or relatives. Examples would be..
I didn't drive so i cant make nobody else leave when they not ready
I had to take Johnny cross town and him and his baby mama got into it
I was ready to leave but you know how Rick is, he taking his time I started to leave him but I couldn't.
My friend/cousin got into a fight
My friend got shot (a friend she doesn't know obviously)
and many more
The bottom line is you don't want to lie to your women, but if you have too there are options, you just have to be able to sacrifice a lot. Choices are what make you a winner or a loser in life, sometimes we make the right choices sometimes we don't. Learning from mistakes is the key to building bridges to improve your relationship. I'm no expert, just a man with experiences and opinions. There are other excuses I didn't mention like losing your phone or getting robbed but I left them out for your interpretation. This is not a rubrick to liars but just an entertaining spin on truth and lies. What you believe is fact or fiction is based on each individual relationship or rather each individual. Please feel free to comment and join me next time when I break down "Who P*ssy Is This" Bedroom Lies, next time on #TrueLies
