There has been an crime in society! Somebody has attempted to kill chivalry. What is chivalry you ask? Well chivalry is the acts of a gentleman, the old fashioned rubric within relationships that made a women feel special. Chivalry can also be linked to the missing idea of romance, which is another open case for another blog but you can get my drift. Many people have multiple reasons to believe why they think chivalry is dead in society. I have decided to attempt an explanation of this mystery. In my opinion, I think we all share a responsibility in chivalry being on its death bed. I would probably break it down into three suspects...Men..Women..and Society which would consist of them both, while also being the accuser! Women claim you cant find the perfect gentlemen which are lies and rumors. Men claim you cant find a women that appreciates a gentleman which are also lies and rumors. While Society believes and teaches us that "it really doesn't matter, you do or you don't"! However you look at it, we cannot allow chivalry to die, so lets break it down.
Prime Suspect: Men
Examples of how to make a Man feel like the man
Prosecution's Case: Men have downgraded the art of chivalry through lack of respect of women. The uses of word b*tch and hoe are common practices and a overall lazy mentality. It seems to be more cool to have multiple women then dedicate time and effort to please one. Men have been seen letting old ladies cross the street, not giving up there seat to a woman on the bus/train, and not providing for their household. The most dangerous reason is the influx of dead beat dads. Think about it, if there is not a man in the house to teach you how to be a gentleman, then how you expect the young men coming up to know chivalry. The example is set by the elders but somehow within the generation gabs the art was lost.
In Defence: Its hard to find women that appreciate a true gentleman. Outside paying for an additional dinner men agree that chivalry doesn't change the results when dating a women. I surveyed 50 men and over 65% contend that being a perfect gentleman or practicing chivalry is overrated today. Many agree that they would rather be with a woman that appreciates chivalry but these days there are far but few, I tend to disagree but hey don't shot the messenger.
Persons of Interest: Women
Prosecution's Case: Woman have over the years become so independent (to their credit) that they have just pushed the envelope to even the odds, so much that the thought of being equals has hurt chivalry in relationships. Woman are in higher paying positions, single parents running house holds, and have grown to be satisfied with doing things on their own. Many men believe that some women look at a man as weak, soft or lame for being a gentleman. Good girls like bad boys so what do the good boys get...the bad girls that don't appreciate a courageous effort at chivalry. The presentation of a woman has also changed. You want evidence to go on Instagram or Face book..look at pictures and read statuses and the proof is in the pudding lol. Therefor without knowing it, women by being so proactive and independent are killing chivalry.
In Defense: Women want to be treated like a queen and all have a mushy heart when it comes to romance and the perfect gentleman. Its just not enough men who want to be a gentleman at all times. He doesn't open my car door because most of the time she is driving or he doesn't pull my chair out to sit down because we usually sit in a booth. You can call them excuses or you can call them reasons but woman have just got comfortable with just having a good man that they have bent the rules on chivalry. When surveying 50 women I found that a 75% have never had a car door opened for them. In fact all 50 women agreed that being a gentleman will score you cool points but would rather see a faithful man than a knight in shinning armor lol. A valid point and brings up the question if you have experienced it how would you know it exist? Just like the men in this case if you were not taught it how do you know how to express it?
Internal Mole : Society/Media
Prosecution's Case Society has played a major role in this crime from media outlets, music, movies and role models. The increase of hip hop exposure and music videos have painted a different picture of what n how men n women should be. Look at the everyday music video, you have women half naked, men with outrageous amounts of money, fancy cars, drugs and alcohol. Listen to the lyrics, you hear sex, bitches, hoes, pimping, etc get thrown around like the norm. Sadly this is excepted in society and seen through media outlets and reality TV shows. The woman verses men battle with go back and forth through society, so by society being the mediator it can sway the tide in either direction.
In Defense: Society is built on the principles of men and women!
My Opinion: Chivalry is not dead. I believe that it starts with your principals you were raised on. My mom taught me a lot of things that my absent father couldn't about how to treat a lady.. Honestly I think both sides have valid points. Its all our responsibility to treat everyone with respect, which is what I think chivalry is as a whole. I want to treat my future wife like a princess and be happily ever after but I also believe you cant be too sweet or you will get run over so there has to be a balance. I think chivalry does start and end with a man because many women don't know how to accept a gentleman these days nor be a lady themselves. As a man you should be 5 Things
- Truth - Speak the truth and seek the truth before making judgments
- Honor- Keep your word, know yourself
- Protector- have no fear and stand in the way of harm to those you love, defend the helpless.
- Loyalty -to choose for yourself the Worthy One or Ones,whether they be your God, your loved ones, your country, a two way street.
- Courtesy- to be polite, mannered and respect to all no matter if you know then or not, with the way you dress, talk, and behave in public and behind closed doors.
Examples toward a Women would be (basic)
- When a man pulls out a chair or offers his chair for a woman
- When a man walks a woman to her door
- Opening up a car door or building entrance door for a women
- Walk on the outside of the sidewalk and offer her the use of ones coat
- Paying for dinner
Chivalry does not just fall on the man as woman need to play their part to make the man feel like the man and want to do the same for you in return. Many women don't do these simple things which is like a trade off for men not to be gentleman. At the end of the day it works both ways and coexist.
- Let him order for you
- Makes his plate
- Put him in charge of Directions
- Thank him
